Marriage

Holy Redeemer Parish
P.O. Box 1108 A2H 6T2

Sacraments - Marriage Information

REQUIRED NOTICE

Couples are required to notify the parish priest a minimum of six months before the projected date of the wedding. This gives the parish sufficient time to conduct a marriage preparation program and it gives the couples extra time to reflect on the decision they are making. Once a decision is made, one tends to consider all the more the implications of that decision.

MARRIAGE PREPARATION PROGRAM

Couples are required to take a marriage preparation program before they get married. This will normally be taken in the parish where the wedding is to take place but if the couple will be in the parish only a few days or weeks before the wedding takes place they will need to arrange to participate in the marriage preparation program in the parish where they are living. You can arrange that by contacting the parish priest in the parish where you are living. When you have taken the marriage preparation program you are asked to send to us a copy of the certificate verifying that you have taken the program.

INTERVIEW

The priest will conduct an interview with the couple relating to basic information about themselves, their freedom to marry, the documents they need, the marriage liturgy etc. Again this will normally be done in the parish where the wedding is to take place, but if the couple is living in another parish, the interview will have to be done there. The couple will have to contact the priest in the parish where they are living, let him know that a date for their wedding has been confirmed and ask him to conduct the required interview (fill out the papers).

DOCUMENTS REQUIRED

1. Baptism (or Dedication) Certificate (This will not be required if the marriage will take place in the parish where the baptism took place.)
2. Confirmation certificate (required for Catholics only)
3. Statement that you are free to marry. This is usually given by the parish priest.
4. Statement that you completed the marriage preparation program (if it was done elsewhere)
5. Licence: A marriage licence obtained from a marriage licence issuer in the province where the marriage is to take place and within 30 days of the wedding. There is a two day waiting period after you apply and the licence has to be given to the priest conducting the wedding five days before the wedding.

AGE

The Canadian Conference of Catholic Bishops state that the minimum age for marriage in the Catholic Church in Canada is 18 years of age.

MAID OF HONOUR/BEST MAN

By provincial law they must be a minimum of 16 years of age. If other attendants are standing they must be old enough to understand the meaning and sacredness of marriage and to take part in the wedding liturgy in a mature and responsible way. You are encouraged to choose adults for this role.

FLOWER GIRL/RING BEARER

These are not required but if you choose to have a flower girl and ring bearer it is important to consider their age. Although they go through a rehearsal, they are often too afraid to walk up the aisle by themselves. Some do not remember what to do. We recommend that the ring bearer and flower girl be old enough to understand what is taking place. This would rule out pre-schoolers. Ideally they should be much older.

READERS

Three readers are required, two for the readings and one for the general intercessions. You may choose someone who is a regular reader in the Church or someone else whom you feel will be able to do this well. Adults are recommended or young adults in senior high school. The readers are required to be present for the rehearsal.

PROCESSION

The procession up the aisle may be done in either of two ways:
1.Traditional way: The bridesmaids walk up the aisle followed by the bride with her father (and mother if she desires). They join up with the groomsmen and the groom at the front.

2.New approach: The bridesmaids walk with the groomsmen, and the bride and groom walk up together. While the Church gives you a choice it invites you to consider the new way as it reflects more Christian values:
-it puts the focus more on God as both bride and groom approach the altar together to express their consent and to ask God's blessing. (The idea that the bride cannot be seen by the groom is a non-Christian superstitious idea from the past.)
-it recognizes the individuality and equality of the bride and does away with any action that can be interpreted as a "giving away of the bride" which was a custom in societies where that equality was not always recognized.
-it enables the parents of both couples to take part in the procession instead of the father or parents of the bride only. (If the parents decided to be in the procession they would walk behind the bride and groom.)
-some couples also choose this way when the father of the bride is deceased, disabled, or not able to walk up the aisle for other reasons.

MUSIC

Couples are responsible for arranging their own music. It is required that the music be of a religious nature. In other words the hymns and other musical pieces are to be directed to praise of God as the author of life and love.
Generally this will include music found in approved hymn books. If you have any doubt about a particular piece you should consult the priest.

CANDLE

A marriage takes place when two people express their marriage vows committing themselves to each other for life. The priest officially witnesses the marriage in the name of the faith community and asks God's blessing upon the couple. The expression of consent then is the most important part of the wedding ceremony. When a Mass is celebrated this unity is further expressed by the couple sharing in the one bread and the one cup. An additional sign already in the ceremony is the placing of the wedding rings.
In recent times, in some wedding ceremonies, couples have asked that this unity be expressed by each of them lighting what has come to be called a "unity candle." Usually from two candles representing themselves they light a third candle representing their unity in Christ. While this may appear to fit the occasion it goes against the tradition of the Church where we always take our light from the candle representing Christ and not the other way around. Apart from that the use of the candle can detract from the central sign, the vows themselves. It is not recommended for these reasons.

EUCHARIST

Catholics have traditionally celebrated Mass on the day of their wedding. While this may be desired by some it may not be by others. Your choice in this regard will be respected. The celebration of Mass is not recommended in a marriage where one party is not a Catholic. The Church feels that a Mass with only one person receiving Communion would tend to point out differences rather than reflect the unity which should be expressed in the wedding ceremony. The Church encourages a ceremony more in tune with the experience of all present, and in which all can share. This would be a Liturgy of the Word along with the wedding ceremony.

PREPARATION OF THE GIFTS

When there is a Mass the couple asks two people to bring the bread and wine to the altar. Any young adult or older adult can do this. We ask that those doing this would also attend the rehearsal.

PICTURES

To assure an atmosphere of prayer and attention, some restrictions, of necessity, are placed on the use of cameras and video cameras. Those asked by the couple to take pictures or to do a video are asked to see the priest before the ceremony for specific instructions.

REHEARSAL

This usually takes place the night before the ceremony or two nights before if necessary. Along with bride and groom and attendants, others involved in the Mass or ceremony are asked to be present-readers, parents. It is not necessary for the photographers to be present.

SACRAMENT OF PENANCE

Because we believe a marriage between two baptized persons is a sacrament we invite Catholics to consider the sacrament of Penance before the sacrament especially if they have been away from the Church and the sacraments for some time or have, in word or deed acted out of accord with the will of God as stated in the Commandments.

RECEPTION

As noted above, marriage among Christians is a sacrament. It is celebrated before the altar with prayers for God's blessing. It would naturally follow that the reception which follows should not be a place where jokes or other practices disregard the sacredness of marriage or the dignity of persons. Apart from the adult guests who are present very often young children and young adults are present. The Master of Ceremonies should be so advised.

MARRIAGE FEE

The regulations of the Diocese state that "couples are asked to make a minimum offering to the parish of $100.00. This is not a fee for services or a gift for the priest or minister but goes toward the parish expenses involved." If you wish to give a donation to the priest that should be a separate offering.

CONCLUSION

If you have some questions about these guidelines do give us a call. We want to be of any help that we can in your preparation for your marriage. We wish you well as you prepare for the special day and for your life together.

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